French Kiss The Elderly (blotmeinpowder) wrote,
French Kiss The Elderly
blotmeinpowder

memouirs

Dear Gus,

I remember the first time you called me. You were at the beach with your friends and you interrupted your plans to talk to me, I wanted to talk to you for hours on end but couldn't because I had to leave with my sister.

I remember the first time you said "I love you." We were over at Eddie's (arg) house snuggling on his bed, and I was working on a nice buzz drinking Boones Farm Strawberry Hill. Stevie's dad came to get us at 3 and I wanted to stay sooo bad.

I remember the first time we spent the night together at Jewbot's house. I scared the crap out of you with my wierd sleeping habits (ex: sleeping with my eyes open ect).

I remember the best spring break of my life at Carols house, you by my side, spent watching Cry Baby and me stealing all the blankets. The last day you walked me home at 8 in the morning.

I remember when you called me beautiful, I was in the worst state of being after having been drunk and passed out all night (not to mention melting my boots in the fire), despite all that I remember, and those three words (you are beautiful) made my world.

I remember our first fight, it was one of the only nights I got you to open up and spill your feelings but even in that one fight it helped me understand you more than ever before.

I remember the first time we went to the movies together, without the gang. You were sweet enough to watch a movie, you probably hated, simply because I wanted to, despite how much torcher it might have been you never complained once.

I remember the trips to the beach where all the girls would sit in the sand and watch the guys beat the crap out of eachother in football and afterwards we would wrap ourselves in a towel and snuggle by the fire.

I remember some of the best times had were the nights where we would stay at home (your house) and watch movies and hold eachother.

I remember the day we got back together, thanks to Lena (I love that girl), it was after one of John's parties. I had missed you so much that it hurt but the strong embrace of your arms made it all fade away. I remember wrapping my arms around you until I fell asleep and awakening to you bumping your head on the shelf above your bed in a drunken stooper, I laughed my ass off.

I remember when you rammed that guy into a pole at the Showcase simply because his friends were messing with me, no questions asked. I'd never seen you react to anything like that before. At first I was surprised and then I thought it was funny, like I had my own personal body guard.

I remember the days when I would come over after school and we would just hang out. No one there to bug us, for a few hours at least. It was nice to have personal time with no interruptions by your mom, friends or otherwise.

I remember the past and on those good times I dwell. Those times are what I miss and no one can tell me otherwise. I miss the lover I once had, and not this person I see before me now. I hate how people try to tell me how to feel when they have no idea whatsoever.

I hate being blown off, and I love to express myself but when people blow me off then end up with half ass interpretations of what I was trying to say and it makes me seem like a complete asshole, which I'm not.

I am overwhelmed by memories and its seems as though I am condemned to live in the past because of it. I sometimes wish that I could forget everything and just be if it will cease the pain momentarily. I really wish that you would enlighten me on your part so at least it will straighten me out but it seems that even that is asking too much.

Do memories mean anything? I wonder if you remember the same things as I and that you will cherish them always, I will.

I could go on for hours, so here I will stop

<3


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